


The Night Stares Back

by cadkitten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Boots - Freeform, Comeplay, Curses, Desperation, Falling Leaves - Freeform, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, JayDickHell, Knotting, Loss, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Not Really Character Death, Oral Sex, Pain, Pumpkin Spice, Self-Lubrication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 11:16:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8399581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: "One day each year, you will know how it feels to want, to crave, to never have, Nightwing. You'll need the impossible, desire the deadly, and only the night will stare back at you."
Dick wanted to tell him it was the proximity to what he needed, to what he desired so badly it hurt. It was because Jason was sitting right there and that had been everything the curse had been about. Jason had been dead that first year, had been nothing but a cold, dead corpse, rotting in someone's version of hell, Dick was sure. Sometimes he wondered if it had been the Lazarus pit at all that had brought Jason back or if it had been the curse combined with the sheer level of Dick's own need. Because Jason... Jason was the night that stared back at him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For JayDickWeek3 Halloween Week. Day 4: Witch/Warlock - Also inspired by a Fall-themed "what the signs like" post wherein it concluded that my sign likes coffee shops, raking leaves, and lace-up boots... and they're not at all wrong.  
> Beta Readers: kate1zena  
> Song[s]: "Requiem For Hell" by MONO - new release from an awesome band, check them out! / "monophobia" by Plastic Tree

Dick settled on the edge of his bed, placing one of his boots on the floor, the other still in hand as he shifted, bringing his leg up and carefully wriggling his foot into it. Shifting until it was snug, he placed his foot back on the ground and took hold of the lower laces, tugging at each set, tightening, until he was up to the top. Wrapping the laces around his fingers, he gave a good jerk and began to carefully tie the bow.

Outside, the wind picked up, the sound of the brittle leaves on the tree outside his bedroom window rattling. A small smile crept onto his face as he eased back, moved to get his other foot up and start tugging on that boot. It was his favorite time of the year, but it wasn't because of anything anyone would have suspected of him. It wasn't how he raced around in the night, just a little bit cooler, sweating less in the confines of his Nightwing suit. Hell, it wasn't even the sweet warmth of a pumpkin spice latte from the little coffee shop down the street. 

He stood, his boots both tied and snug around his feet, and moved to the window, pressing his hip against the sill, watching as the leaves were ripped from the tree by the wind, fluttering down into the yard as it seemed to dissipate as quickly as it had arrived. His hand crept into the pocket of his slim black jeans, extracting his phone, letting his thumbprint open the device. Settling with his back to the window, he activated the camera and held it up, waiting until he could see the leaves blowing around in the yard, and then snapped a photo.

Easing away from the window, he set out across the apartment, opening the photo viewing app and smiling at how the image had come out; how relaxed and carefree he looked. Exiting it, he pulled up his text messages and selected a contact that was so rarely used it was a pity. He sent off the image to them, the text beneath it a simple _I'm ready today if you are_.

Pausing at the door, he pushed his phone back into his pocket and grabbed his faux fur-lined black jacket from the hook and shrugged it on. He pulled it shut as he slipped out the door and locked up, turning and heading for the exit without a single care in the world.

Ten minutes found him at his favorite little coffee shop, a London Fog in one hand and a pumpkin spice latte in the other, a scone in the bag tucked under his arm. He claimed a small booth in the corner of the shop, sliding in and setting everything down just as someone slipped into the seat opposite him. He didn't even look up, could _sense_ it was Jason without so much as a glance. He pushed the London Fog toward him and opened the scone bag, extracting the pastry, tearing it in half, and settling both parts on the bag between them. "I'll take that as a yes." 

Glancing up, their eyes met for a moment and Dick could see the hint of a smile tugging at Jason's lips. They ate in silence, Jason polishing off his half of the pastry in no time at all while Dick nibbled at his. It was honestly so oppositional to his usual habits that he was sure Jason would pick up on it, but if he did, he didn't say a word about it. 

By the time Jason's cup touched the table again, contents completely drained, Dick could feel his heart beating quicker, knew his pulse was racing fast enough someone had probably already checked in on his biometrics to see if he was dying... or _fucking_. He let a shiver rip through him. _As if_ Jason would ever let that actually fully happen during one of these times.

Standing, Dick offered his hand, smiled to himself when Jason caught his fingertips to help himself stand. He knew it wouldn't last, that Jason wouldn't let their touch continue for too long, but he relished every second of it, regardless. 

It didn't take long to get them to Jason's car and it took even less time once they were in it before Dick could _feel_ what was already happening to him just due to their proximity. Perhaps that was why Jason's number was always tucked away, so rarely used and yet so often opened in his contact list. 

Taking in a shaky breath, Dick pushed his hands deep into his coat pockets and clenched his fists. He had to keep it together until they were outside of town, until they were at the tiny little cabin they'd procured _years_ ago. Dick knew Bruce was aware of its existence, knew he probably had even come to check it out, found _things_ , but not the evidence he was looking for, Dick was sure. They went to great lengths to cover the truth of what they were doing, to make it look like what Dick _wanted_ it to be. If Bruce _had_ been there, he likely had deducted that Dick and Jason held an annual _therapy_ session that included a good helping of sex. 

Instead... _instead_. Dick huffed out a little annoyed sound, turned to gaze out the window. The changes were already happening, as if his body knew he was going to allow it to happen today. 

_"One day each year, you will know how it feels to want, to crave, to never have, Nightwing. You'll need the impossible, desire the deadly, and only the night will stare back at you."_

It had been a curse, one pissed off magic-user and a spell even Constantine hadn't been able to break. Doctor Fate... he probably could have, but Dick had been far too afraid to admit the realities of his situation to go to him early on... and _now_? He was simply used to it. Once each year, he would _change_. It was subtle, the most elegantly gentle of changes externally, and internally a turmoil he'd never let on quite how _large_ it truly was. 

Outside, it was but a fever, a dampness inside of him that didn't _belong_ , the slow leaking pull of arousal he couldn't get rid of, and the _desperate need_ to fuck it all away. Maybe that didn't seem subtle at all, perhaps it hadn't to Jason the first year Dick had called him, shaking and burning up from the inside out, either. But, truly, it wasn't what it _could_ have been. Admittedly, there were other things, things he'd never _shown_ Jason that happened to him as well - the way his cock swelled at the base, the way he couldn't stop the endless need to _touch_ , the way he covered the constant leaking of his cock with black pants for the entire duration of the day.

Inside... inside was a different story entirely. Once he let it get started, he wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't engage in any form of digestion or anything else for nearly the entire period. It was like everything shut off except the overwhelming mental need to _have_. He'd never told Jason that it was an _individual_ sort of thing, that there was only _one_ man he craved during all of this, that it was Jason himself and that that was why he'd begged him that first time to come _help_ him. More than that, he'd never admitted that help had been a term that he'd used to mean far more than had ever come of it. 

Jason was diligent, careful, _helpful_. He cared for Dick through the whole ordeal, wrapped him in blankets and held him, plied him with ice cubes to suck on, and rocked him when Dick became frantic, held him down when Dick started to lose his ability to fight what he really wanted. Through it all, Dick had never once told Jason that this was about _him_ as much as it was about Dick himself. 

The air kicked on and Dick bit back and startled cry, the air hitting the sweat on his face like sweet relief, and he hunched himself against the door, pulling one leg up on the seat and doing his best to hide what was already happening in his pants. 

"It gets faster every year... doesn't it?" Jason's voice was soothing, the question gentle, pleading with Dick to explain to him some of the things he never had without ever actually _asking_ him to.

Dick let his head fall back against the headrest, focusing on his breathing for the time being. After a minute, he released a huff of air, and nodded. "It does... it's..." he wanted to tell him it was the proximity to what he needed, to what he desired so badly it _hurt_. It was because Jason was sitting right there and that had been everything the curse had been about. Jason had been _dead_ that first year, had been nothing but a cold, dead _corpse_ , rotting in someone's version of hell, Dick was sure. Sometimes... he wondered if it had been the Lazarus pit at all that had brought Jason back or if it had been the curse combined with the sheer level of Dick's own need. Because Jason... Jason _was_ the night that stared back at him. 

A shudder ripped through him and Dick didn't quite hold back the buck of his hips, couldn't stop the way his body _needed_ in ways he'd been long denying. His hips rocked, his cock pressing against the material of his pants, and he could already feel the swelling of his cock, the preparation for the first wave of _cum_. It never took much during these times, not much at all.

Jason's hand came to rest on his thigh, pushing him back down against the seat. "You're about to ruin those jeans and you didn't bring your bag with a spare."

Dick _whined_ , jerked his hips hard once and settled, his breath catching, his face a perfect mask of _pain_. There was no bliss in the first one. It was _agony_ until it was ripped free of him, until he'd spilled the first time in Jason's presence. Swallowing thickly, he gritted out, "Gets harder to... stop." He meant that, he really did... but he didn't mean harder to stop the orgasm, he meant it was harder to stop himself from taking what he wanted, from climbing into Jason's lap and _begging_ him for what he needed. 

The image of pressing Jason against the buttery leather of the giant couch in front of the fireplace slipped into his mind, the _sensation_ of sliding his cock inside of Jason's body filling his every sense, and Dick _choked_ on his next breath of air. "O-oh _fuck_ ," he spit out, ripping his hands free of his pockets, napkins clutched in his fist from the coffee shop. He barely had time to wrench his pants open, to shove his hand in his pants, napkins covering the head of his cock as he _lost control_ , cum spurting hot and thick into the napkins. 

He gripped the door hard, pushing up with a creak of plastic, hips hovering over the seat as he emptied himself for far longer than any _human_ should have been able to. Fire ripped through his veins and he threw back his head and _screamed_ , unable to hold back how _painful_ it was. Tears tracked down his cheeks and he thrashed against the seat belt, barely remembering to breathe through it all. 

By the time he collapsed against the seat, he realized they'd stopped moving, that they were pulled off the side of the road and Jason had his face framed between his hands as he knelt over the console. His mouth was moving, he was _speaking_ , but Dick couldn't _hear_ anything but the rush of blood in his veins, couldn't _smell_ anything but the overwhelming scent of his cum on the air.

The world tipped and heaved and he closed his eyes tight until it passed, opened them again and this time when Jason's lips moved, he heard him.

"You with me, pretty bird?"

Dick let out a quiet whine, extracting the cum-sodden napkins from his pants, balling them up, and reaching past Jason to push them into the trash bag. 

Jason's lips pressed to his forehead and Dick sagged against him, catching his breath, rubbing his tear-stained cheek against Jason's soft t-shirt. "I... I'm sorry," he managed, feeling the way Jason shook his head.

"Don't ever be sorry for this. It's not your fault." He ran a hand through Dick's hair and then pulled away, settling back in the driver's seat, turning over the engine and hitching his seat belt. 

They pulled back onto the road and Dick shakily managed to get his pants closed again, knowing at least the _pain_ of round one was over with. The rest... the rest weren't so bad. The pain dulled each time until it became a background to the pleasure of _cumming_ again and again. His hips rocked lightly, something he couldn't have stopped if he'd tried, quickly rubbing him back toward hardness. 

"If you don't calm down, you'll lose it again before we ever get to the cabin..." this time it was a tease, a gentle ribbing, because Jason knew it hurt less after the first time. Dick had _assured_ him so many times over the years that it was only the first one that hurt so bad it felt like he was being burned alive. Of course... he _knew_ why it hurt like that, too. Another elegantly executed part of the curse. To desire the deadly... he'd want someone who should have been _dead_ and he'd want to die because of it. But the thing was... with Jason _alive_ , with the Lazarus pit and the curse and all of it lining up so smoothly, he was _certain_ that this was what Jason had felt as he'd come back to life in the green depths of that water. The curse hadn't planned on Jason _living_ and when he had? There hadn't been much of a choice in what Dick would have to endure.

Looking down, Dick stared at Jason's hand - so close to where he wanted it and yet he knew it'd never actually move those last few inches. He'd never actually tried _moving_ Jason's hand when he'd offer a touch like this, hadn't wanted to feel the sting of that rejection. But he'd begged - once - for Jason to _touch_ him and while he had, he'd only rubbed his shoulders and his back, held him in his arms, pressed these gentle kisses to his forehead. It was all so _kind_ in comparison to the rage of _need_ that swirled within Dick. 

Fear held him back. It always had. His hips began to rock again and he could hear himself panting. He _needed_ to stroke himself, needed to get his hand tight around his cock and _pleasure_ himself. But he'd never actually done that with Jason next to him. He'd always stumbled into the bedroom and done what he needed, only to come back out and curl up with Jason, tears drying on his cheeks and dampness running down his thighs that he couldn't stop. But _that_ was the lonely way, the way that left him feeling barren and empty. He much preferred the times where he could strain up from the couch, move his hips and unleash himself right there, right with Jason, his hands safely far away from his cock. Those were the times he didn't cry, didn't beg for things he couldn't have with his face buried in pillows that faintly smelled of Jason's scent. 

The thought of the bag he hadn't packed today shot anguish through him. The carefully squirreled away shirt Jason had borrowed a month before was sitting in the plastic baggy in the depths of the bag. He'd have _nothing_ to push his face into this time, nothing to _pretend_ Jason was right there. 

Panic gripped him and he grabbed the seat hard, hips jerking frantically, his head tipping back and he _whined_. He _had_ to get it out _here_. Right next to Jason, right where he could _smell_ him. His heart pounded in his chest and Jason's hand gripped his thigh harder, hard enough Dick knew - peripherally - that it would bruise later. His breath hitched and he felt the familiar swell at the base of his cock, felt it growing more than it had the first time and he wanted to be _locked_ within Jason right then, wanted to be giving this _precious gift_ to him. 

His head thrashed wildly and he strained hard enough he heard the protest of the seat belt. Heat rushed through him and then _fire_ right behind it, just as potent as last time, and he _choked_ on his gulp of air, gagged against the pressure of the seat belt having slipped up to his throat, and the fire swelled, expanding, and he felt like he was _dying_ this time. There were no screams, no amount of _sounds_ now as he was sure this would be the very end of him. His vision sparked with white and then prickled with hazy black dots and he realized he wasn't breathing, that it didn't seem _important_ in any way. 

Everything seized and rather than relief, he found hell itself as he flooded his pants with his cum. In his mind, he watched Jason _die_ , watched his body as it was ripped apart by the explosion, as flames lapped at him and _consumed_ him, and Dick could _feel_ his own skin peeling up, could feel himself dying with Jason.

Lips pressed hard against his own and oxygen was forced into his lungs. Again and again, he felt the process, felt his heart doing its best to beat within his chest. Weight pressed against his lap, against the still-emptying twitch of his cock, and he gasped in a ragged breath, hands ripping free of the seat to _grab_ at Jason as he gulped in air far too quickly to be good for him. His hips jerked and another round of twitching from his cock filled his pants with even more of his cum, but this one didn't _hurt_ , didn't feel like death and dying. 

Sagging against the seat, he rocked against Jason, heedless of what he was doing, just _glad_ it didn't feel horrible. His hips worked steadily, cock rubbing through the slick inside his pants as he rutted against Jason's rear. 

Jason's hands gently framed his face and turned his head so that Dick was staring up at him. "Dick... are you conscious of what you're doing?"

Dick bit out a little whine and turned his head to tuck his mouth and nose against Jason's palm. Jason's scent exploded around him and Dick _groaned_ , hips rocking faster as he nodded, gasping out, "Y-yes."

Silence reigned between them for the next few minutes, Dick just moving, rubbing against him without heed, and Jason letting it happen, until Dick strained just a little and a short little burst of an orgasm rippled through him. There was no pain, no tears, and Dick's head swam with relief, though his body still _craved_ like nothing else. He settled in the seat, heart beating a frantic staccato, and Jason's thumb lightly swiped over his lower lip, brought Dick's gaze back to his face.

There was a light in those eyes that Dick hadn't seen in years, hadn't seen since Jason had been _Robin_ , bounding from rooftop to rooftop and he _marveled_ at it, even as Jason's quiet question met his ears.

"It's always been about me, hasn't it?"

Dick let his head loll to the side, let his eyes focus on the darkening world outside of the car. "One day each year, you will know how it feels to want, to crave, to never have. You'll need the impossible, desire the deadly, and only the night will stare back at you." He let out a little hum and offered up, "I called _you_ for a reason. It was a curse built around emotions that were already there, around the most prominent _pain_ in my heart that night. I never... never told you what I did, did I?"

"No." Jason's voice was soft, his breath a gentle exhale against Dick's cheek in the instant before a tender kiss was pressed there. 

"I didn't save her husband. She cursed me because I couldn't save him. She found what I had wanted the most and never had, what I longed for... and my newest, freshest pain and she preyed upon it all. Fate would have it... it was all about _you_." He shivered, turning his head to look back up at Jason, knowing he had to see whatever he'd see in his eyes as he told him everything he'd ever held back. "Losing you was the hardest thing I've ever faced. I knew... I _knew_ that version of you looked up to me, that you modeled so much after me even though you'd never have admitted it. I knew you'd sneak videos of me taking down the bad guys and of me during training, and I _liked_ that more than I wanted to admit. My heart was filled with uncountable emotions for you... because of you, and she read every bit of that."

Dick closed his eyes finally, unwilling to see the pain he was about to cause. "When you died... I took it harder than even Bruce did. I... _almost_ killed him, Jason. I almost took Joker's life on more than one occasion... and the night I fucked up and lost that guy? It was _because_ of Joker. I let that man die because I couldn't stop beating a _broken, psychotic shell_ of a man. When she cursed me, it was with his blood on my fists, on my suit, on my _face_ , and it was with all the pain in the world in my heart, and she had _every_ right to do what she did."

Looking up at the ceiling, Dick sighed quietly, managed to get his hips to stay still for the time being, and shook his head ever so slightly. "So, yes... it's always been about you. It's why _you_ ease it, why when it's in your arms, I don't scream or cry, why there isn't _fire_ in my veins and why I don't _feel you dying_. Because the curse didn't account for you _coming back_ , but it certainly _dealt_ with it."

"You... you _feel_ me dying?" Jason's hands were back, forcing Dick to look at him. "Please tell me that's metaphorical."

Dick let out a huff of breath, gave the smallest shake of his head. "It's not..."

"Oh... oh _God_." Jason's arms slid around Dick's shoulders, drew him in until Jason's breath was hot against his scalp, his hair moving with each exhale. "Why didn't you tell me it was _hurting_ you like that, Dick? That... no... _no_. Fire... on the inside... like you're cooking alive and it _burns_ like chemicals... no air... no vision... _fear_ , oh God the _fear_."

Dick's hands tightened on Jason's hips until Jason took in a shaky breath. "Stop." He reached up and forced Jason back so he could see him, could see the _wounded_ way he was staring down at him. "This is my curse, not yours."

"Why didn't you _ask_ me for more if... if it helps?"

Dick let out the most humorless laugh he'd ever heard himself create. "I don't want what isn't _real_ , Jason. This isn't about pity or to ease some uncontrollable pain for me and I don't-"

Jason's mouth was warm against his own, cutting him off from any other words. His tongue was still faintly sweet from the pastry and bitter from the tea. Dick _let_ himself enjoy it, let his tongue slide against Jason's own, let his body relax more fully than it ever had during one of these days. Arousal swelled inside of him and he _knew_ it was different this time; knew there would be no fire, no hell to pay in the depths of it. 

Jason eased back just the slightest, his teeth grazing Dick's lower lip as he settled on Dick's thighs. His fingers swiped over the heated flush of Dick's skin, wiping away tears and sweat. "It's real... I promise you that. You haven't ever found me here because of _pity_ or anything else so mundane." Jason moved, settling back into his seat and clicking his seat belt into place. The car started up again and once they were merged back onto the road, Jason's hand came to twine with Dick's own. "I'd have never come if it weren't for the fact that I _care_."

The way his fingers squeezed Dick's own, the way there was the faintest shimmer of unshed tears in his eyes, it told Dick everything he'd ever overlooked. Jason was - and had always been - in love with him.

\-------

Dick watched Jason as he knelt in front of him, as he carefully unlaced Dick's boots and settled them aside. He lifted his chin as Jason reached up and unzipped his jacket, as he eased it over his shoulders and let it fall from his fingertips to the floor beside the bed. He didn't protest at all when Jason rucked his shirt up his abdomen or as it slipped over his head and - with his help - landed on the heap of his jacket on the floor. 

He let out a surprised little yelp as Jason grabbed his thighs, _yanked_ Dick down so that he was lying on the bed, supporting himself as his hips lifted and the button and zipper on his pants were popped open and the jeans were skimmed down his thighs, over his calves, resting around his ankles as the process was repeated with his briefs. The drying mess of his last two orgasms began to cool on the air and he shivered, an excited little huff of breath leaving him as the washcloth touched him, wiping away the evidence of what he'd done. 

He listened as his pants were cleaned and _flushed_ as Jason's fingertips came to his thighs, slipped up the slickness that leaked from his body, traced it back to his cleft and _hesitated_. 

"You..."

"Yeah." Dick swallowed against the sudden dryness of his mouth, barked out a laugh. "I uh... always have with this."

"Then you didn't... _do_ this?"

Dick couldn't help the roll of his hips or the way his cock was starting to take interest in this situation, though he didn't really know where it was _going_ just yet. He'd cum again on the way to the cabin, that one safely tucked against Jason's side, his face pressed nearly against his armpit to get the heady quality of his scent as he'd rubbed at his own cock through his jeans. _That_ one hadn't hurt. It'd all been pleasure instead of pain and he'd been grateful beyond measure.

"No. It just _happens_ when this starts. I think it's supposed to be _helpful_ or something... I don't know." He arched a little. "Ridiculous, given the only thing I want to do is _fuck_ when I'm like this. And not _like that_ either."

Dick could hear the smile in Jason's voice as he carefully got Dick back on the bed a bit more and removed the pants from his ankles, pulled his socks from his feet, and set about stroking his calves. "Tell me, how _do_ you want to _fuck_ when you're like this, hmm?"

Dick released a whoosh of breath and then a low whistle. "Hmm... I want to _take_." He shivered, his cock swelling rapidly now, the rush of blood feeling _good_ this time instead of like agony. His length twitched and he spread his legs further, Jason's touch sliding up to his thighs, pressing over tight muscles, thumbs swiping over tender spots of half-formed bruises from patrol the night before. 

Rolling his hips, Dick let it take hold of him, let his body _show_ Jason how he felt. He could feel he base of his cock swelling, the knot forming and the rush of desire to _cum_ becoming undeniable. 

"May I-"

"Yes." It didn't matter what Jason wanted, Dick would have done _anything_ right then as long as it involved some kind of touch. 

He heard Jason shift, felt the pressure on his thighs as then the closeness of Jason's warmth between his legs more fully. One hand slid around his cock, right around the knot, and began to _tug_ and Dick bucked up hard, the most delicious moan spilling free over the feeling of it as Jason let himself get a bit rough with it. It felt like he was _trapped_ in something and Dick's excitement went up a notch. His knot swelled even more and he hadn't _known_ it could do that. He bucked desperately against Jason's hand, gasping a quiet series of yes's, feeling warmth began to pool in his groin, his balls start to draw up tight against his body in preparation for his release.

Slick heat came down over the head of his cock and Dick _wailed_ at the pleasure of it, tipped his head to find Jason's mouth carefully over his cock, his hand still tugging the knot in quick little snaps of his wrist.

Dick started to cum without any warning at all. He felt the knot swell just a bit more and then he was shooting for all he was worth, hips forced up high from the bed, cock buried in Jason's mouth as he gave him a nearly constant stream of his orgasm. He could feel it flowing back down over his cock, over Jason's fist, dripping down onto his balls, and he just _didn't_ care that Jason wasn't swallowing. It was more than enough to be cumming in his mouth, to have his hand tight around his knot, to _feel_ like he was buried tight in Jason's ass like he'd always wanted to be.

Excitement rippled and faded as his orgasm subsided, as he collapsed back onto the bed and lay there trembling as Jason cleaned them up. He disappeared for a minute, but when he came back, he was only wearing his boxers, came to Dick with a cup of ice cubes and a newly wetted washcloth that he used to gently wipe up Dick's face and neck with. He settled it on the nightstand and fed Dick one of the ice cubes, popping one into his mouth as well.

They lay there in silence until the ice had melted, until half the cup had been devoured, and Jason set it aside in favor of tugging Dick up into his arms and wrapping a blanket around them. 

"How did you keep it from me all this time that it was _about_ me?"

Dick rested his head on Jason's shoulder, took in a much needed breath as he gently kissed the skin there, nuzzling into it after with a quiet sigh. "Wasn’t easy... believe me."

Jason reached up to card his fingers through Dick's hair. "You were in _pain_ because you weren't with me... all these years... _why_ didn't you tell me?"

"Because I never wanted it to be about pity or about doing it because you didn't want me to be hurt. I wanted it-"

"-to be about emotion." Jason pressed a kiss to the top of his head, sighed against his scalp. "Sweet Dickie-bird, always preserving everyone else and never yourself." He gently pushed two fingers under Dick's chin, brought him up and met his lips with his own, tasting Dick for a moment before nipping his lip again. "I wouldn't have been here if I hadn't cared, you know."

Dick's hips bucked as Jason's fingertips ghosted over his neck and Jason let out a quiet chuckle. "Tell me _exactly_ what you want, pretty bird."

Dick spread his legs enough to rock his hips against the air, moving repeatedly, unable to stop it now that he wanted it so badly. Now that he almost had it. "You..." he arched and didn't bother to stop the whine that bubbled up or the way he thrust against the air in the perfect emulation of what he wanted.

Jason's hand curled around his balls, fingers moving gently, rubbing and then sliding up through the delicate dusting of hair around the base of his cock. He started to move over him, to lean down, and Dick _whimpered_. Yes, he wanted to be sucked again, but he wanted _Jason_ more, wanted the union he'd craved all along with him.

"Speak to me, then... give me specifics."

Gasping in a breath, Dick closed his eyes and gave a slow roll of his hips, barely breathing out, "I want to be _in_ you."

Jason's hands slipped away and the bed shifted. The drawer opened beside the bed and the sound of a lubricant bottle being opened met Dick's ears, the plastic wrapping going in the trash and then the pop of the top. The bed moved again and Jason settled over Dick's hips, pushed up on his knees, his hand sliding back between his legs as he poured lubricant over Dick's cock. 

For a minute there was just the wet sound of Jason fucking himself on his fingers, the sound of both of their heavy breathing, and then the bed springs squeaked as Jason moved over his cock, took him in hand. And then, blessedly, he was penetrating Jason, his cock sliding deep inside of him in ways he'd _always_ wanted to feel and Dick felt like he was burning up - but in a good way this time. His heart beat frantically and he rolled his hips, pushing deeper inside of Jason, reaching for his hips and hauling him down until he was fully within him.

Relief swept over him and he sagged against the bed, just _breathing_ for a moment. His muscles unclenched and he reached up to rub his hands over Jason's forearms, staring up at him, willing every ounce of affection and _love_ he held for him to show in his gaze. 

Jason was the one to move when the time came, slowly lifting himself up and settling back down on him, again and again. Their hips rolled against one another after a few moments, ceaseless rhythm created by the moment more than anything else. Dick pulled nearly free and pushed back in what felt like countless times before he began to feel the burn of his need to truly claim Jason settle deep in his gut.

Grabbing his hips, he drove up into him, thrust good and hard a few dozen times as he felt the knot start to swell at the base of his cock, felt it slipping in and out of Jason and then - finally - felt it _catch_. He let out a sharp cry as it caught and held, as Jason clenched around it and he swelled even thicker, as his cock trembled and then began to pulse, _filling_ Jason's body in a way he'd only dreamed of doing. 

Throwing his head back, Dick _moaned_ , rocking his hips quickly as he unleashed everything he had into Jason. "Yes... yes... _yes_!"

Jason's thighs gripped his hips tight, his hand wandering over Dick's arm and finally grasping his wrist, tugging his hand down to his own cock, helping Dick to stroke him off as he clenched impossibly tighter around Dick's knot.

The world swam in front of his eyes and Dick jerked Jason harder, rutting his hips against him in a desperate attempt to keep fucking even though his knot had him stuck firm inside of him. Jason fluttered around him and then began to rhythmically clench as he tipped over the edge, warmth flooding over Dick's hand, raining down onto his abdomen. 

Dick didn't even realize he was moving until he had Jason _pinned_ against the bed, had managed to turn them so that he was behind him and was riding him hard, knot only slipping a half inch of so each time, but it was _more_ than worth it. Panting, he leaned over Jason, shoved himself down far enough to _smell_ Jason's very essence as he worked himself desperately against him. He was swelling back up to his full knot again and when his release came this time, he felt the entire Earth shatter and rebuild itself around him, he felt _relief_ and _happiness_ like he'd never managed before.

Even as he began to fill Jason as second time, he choked out the only thing that would _ever_ matter. "Jason... don't _leave_ me again. _Please_."

Jason's hand found Dick's, curled around it against his hip, and squeezed tighter than Dick would have imagined he could have in that moment. "Never."

Dick slackened over him, eased himself into a better position to remain inside of Jason until he could slip free, and just closed his eyes, focusing on this new world where he _had_ what he wanted, where it didn't _hurt_ to desire - and for the first time in all of this, he knew something very precious. At last, he knew what it felt like _when the night stared back_.


End file.
